Oberon Gets a Taste
by Whackadoo
Summary: Oberon pays Dean, the one that got away, a visit.


**A/N: I don't really know much about the Fae, their world, or their powers. I don't know much about magic. But after Dean's escape from their world and possibly "servicing Oberon", I thought he deserved a re-visit. I hope you enjoy my rendition of Oberon, King of the Fairies.**

"You call that a knife?" Dean chuckled and shook his head. "That won't do you any good up close, though." Sam rolled his eyes. Here we go, he thought.

The big guy, covered in tattoos, squinted at Dean. He had a shaved head, full beard and although, at first glance, he looked intimidating, he had a twinkle in his eyes. This was all just good-natured ribbing. "Oh really? You got something better, little man?"

"Little? I'm 6'2"! Why is everyone always fucking taller than me?"

"You stalling, tiny?" The big guy put his knife, which was more like a machete, away and crossed his arms.

Dean smiled, thinking of his most recent acquisition, a double edged blade with brass knuckles built right into the handle. It was deadly in close quarters combat. "No I'm not. I have something right out in the car that will make you wet your little girl panties with desire, boys." Dean leaned over towards his brother. "Keep the ladies company, Sammy. I'll be right back."

Stepping outside, Dean took a deep breath of the rain cleansed evening air. Letting the rain gently fall in his face for a moment, he thought about how nice it was to have some down time. No cases, angels, demons, or other various monsters breathing down their necks. Granted, this nice little reprieve may only last the night, or the whole week. However long it lasted, Dean would relish every moment. They were due for a break, damn it. He moseyed over to his car and stood at the trunk, digging in his pocket for the keys, when something stung him on the neck. "Ow! They grow 'em big out here." He slapped at his neck and came away with an odd feathered dart. He looked at it in confusion, trying to get his brain to tell him what it meant. Whatever was on it was pretty fast acting and, between that and the alcoholic buzz he had going, he barely had time to decide that it probably wasn't anything good when the lights went out and he dropped to the pavement like a sack of potatoes.

"Is this the correct human?" A gruff voice said.

"I'm positive. I never forget a scent." another voice said. A pair of hands grabbed him under the arms and that's all he was aware of before the darkness became absolute.

"Wake him. It's time."

Someone gently smacked his cheek, took his chin, and gave his head a little shake. "Wake up, human."

Dean raised his head, giving it a shake of his own to clear the cobwebs. His shoulders ached and his feet were wet. He was tied to a tree, arms stretched behind him. He could feel both the rope and the tree bark digging into his skin. Thankfully the rain had stopped because he stood naked, which explained his cold wet feet. Covering his essentials was a clump of moss. He wasn't going to ask how they got that to stay on there. He probably didn't want to know.

"He's awake." Dean turned his head toward the voice. An older man stood near him. Nothing about his clothes really stood out, but the red knit cap on his head was ringing bells. Dean couldn't place where he'd seen him before, though.

"Thank you. You may go attend to your other errand now."

The red capped guy nodded and disappeared into the woods. Left behind were two people wearing robes with deep hoods that covered their heads. In front of him was a circular clearing with flowers growing along the edges and a giant slab of stone in the center. There appeared to be stains on the stone and Dean was thankful he was tied to a tree instead of the rock. The tree he was tied to stood just inside one edge of the circle. Dean noticed some items on the rock, one of which was an ornate dagger. Maybe he wasn't as safe as he thought. "Who are you guys? What do you want with me?"

"I will explain as best I can." One of the robed figures said, approaching Dean. "Our king wishes to speak with you. It is easier to bring him here when there is someone with a previous connection with him currently within this plane of existence."

"You saying your king and I have previously met?" Dean frowned trying to think of any kings he'd ever come across.

"In a manner of speaking." The robed figure turned his back to Dean and stepped up to the stone slab. What the hell was that supposed to mean, he wondered. The other guy stood across the stone from the first and acted as an assistant. The lead guy started chanting in some strange language, burning stinky weeds, and doing other things Dean couldn't quite see. After a bit of that, he turned back to Dean with the dagger in hand.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! How's he going to talk to me if you kill me?" Dean pulled at the rope to no effect.

"The link will now be established." The guy said, stepping closer, and pressing the tip of the dagger to Dean's chest. Dragging the blade slowly across his skin, he proceeded to carve some sort of rune into his flesh. Other than a few grunts, Dean remained silent. The cuts weren't overly deep and the assistant dabbed up any blood with a white cloth as he went.

Once he was satisfied with his work, he turned back to the stone slab, took the bloodied cloth and lit it on fire, chanting a bit more.

The rune carved into his chest started to grow warm. The warmth slowly went from warm to burning to searing. Dean screamed and the white hot pain flashed from hot to burning cold. A blinding light shot out from the rune and he turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes shut. A gust of wind blew through the clearing, whipping up fallen leaves that smacked into him. Then everything went completely still. Dean opened one eye and peeked out at the clearing, not sure what he would see. The two robed figures dropped to their knees. "My Lord." The one said. They both bowed their heads.

Beyond them was an impressive creature. It stood easily eight feet tall, with hooves for feet, and a set of horns that looked like they could do some serious damage if it had a mind to use them. It nodded at the two servants on the ground and walked straight for Dean. It placed a finger under his chin and lifted his face to him. "Dean Winchester." It ran it's gaze down his body and back. "Not sure whether to kiss you or kill you."

"Umm..." Dean stammered. "I vote for neither?"

"Hm."

"Uhh, I don't think we've met?"

"What? You don't recall shooting blindly into my court?"

Dean looked the beast up and down. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like you."

"Really? I would think a visit to my court, no matter how brief, would be quite memorable."

Dean shook his head and one of the robed servants cleared his throat. "Ahem. My Liege."

The beast turned and bellowed, "What?!"

Wisely keeping his head bowed he answered, "Your glamour sir."

"My what?" It looked down at itself. "Ha. Ha HA! Yes, yes! Of course! My glamour! I'm dressed for battle! No wonder you don't recognize me!" The air rippled around it and the hooves vanished. The mighty horns were replaced with a set of antlers. He was now a man who looked like he was in his twenties or thirties. Fit, but not muscle bound. He wore baggy, loose fitting pants made of a dark green velvet, tucked into a pair of knee high black leather boots. His top half was bare. The rather delicate looking antlers rose up out of a head of wavy dirty blond hair with a pair of pointed ears. He grinned at Dean and made a little ta-da gesture. "Huh?"

Dean's eyes bugged out with recognition. "Oh no. Shit, shit, shit. No! Stay back! Don't touch me!" Dean started struggling against the rope again.

"You left in such a hurry last time that I don't think we were properly introduced."

"I got the impression that introductions weren't really that high on your to do list last time." Dean looked down at his moss underwear with trepidation.

"I am known as Oberon."

"Yeah. Yeah. I know who you are."

"Heh." Oberon looked Dean over again. "Mmm, mmm, mmm. As tempting as you are... No. I'm here on business." He turned to his servants. "Release him so we may talk." One of the servants rushed over with a blade and cut through the rope. Dean's arms ached and he wondered how long he had been wrapped around the damn tree. Oberon went and knelt at the stone slab. "Come. Join me, Dean." He waved his hand toward the far end of the stone and as he did so, everything that was on the stone vanished and was replaced with a spread of food and golden goblets full of some sort of drink.

"Any chance of getting my clothes back?" Dean rubbed his wrists where the rope had burned.

"Clothes promote deceit. You have nothing to hide when dressed as you are now."

Dean sighed and went and knelt at the opposite end of the stone. The spread looked pretty amazing but he wasn't stupid. He knew enough to not take food or drink from the fae.

Oberon dug right in, though, and peered at Dean over a turkey leg. "Not hungry?" He asked, mouth full of food.

"I seem to have lost my appetite. We gonna talk business or not?"

"I should have known you'd be all business." he sighed and set down the turkey leg. "Okay. It embarrasses me to admit this... But I've lost somebody."

"Lost somebody. How do you mean?"

"There are circumstances at work in my realm that you need not concern yourself with, which include a moratorium on travel to this plane. Needless to say, I have a wayward satyr. He's come to this plane against the commandment not to do so. We need to find him and return him to face justice."

"We? You mean those two and you? Pft." Dean chuckled. "Good luck with that." Oberon just stared at him. In him. Through him. Dean cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the stare. "Uhh. Okay I'll bite. We who?"

"Why, you and me of course!"

Dean buried his face in his hand. He was too drunk for this. He kept hoping he'd wake up. "You and me." Oberon stared through him again and smiled. "Shit. You're serious."

"Deadly." The tone of Oberon's voice shifted and a shiver ran down Dean's back.

"And why would I help someone who previously kidnapped me for nefarious reasons?"

"Because I could take you again at any time and get what I was denied the first time." Dean swallowed, wishing he had a shot of whiskey. "But just in case that's not incentive enough, your brother will be our guest until the satyr is found."

"Hell no! You leave your filthy, fairy hands off Sam!"

"That's sweet, but he passed over at the same time I did."

Dean started to get up in a huff and then remembered he was practically naked and sat back down. "You better not touch him or I swear I..."

"Or you'll what?" His voice changed again, cowing Dean. "Of course I won't touch him, because I'll be here with you. I'll be very, very close." Dean could tell he meant something more by that, but couldn't quite figure out what. "No. Young Sam will be shown the full extent of fae hospitality." Oberon grinned and Dean seethed. "This is a simple business arrangement, Dean. You help me retrieve my satyr and Sam comes home. This should be quick and painless. In fact it could be quite pleasant if you let it." He took a long draw from a nearby goblet and looked at Dean. "What do you say? Do we have an agreement?"

Dean was silent. He knew agreements and bargains with fae were tricky things. He also knew Oberon had him by the short and curlies. He really had no choice. "I help you quickly find your satyr." Dean stressed the word quickly. Oberon nodded. "You immediately take the satyr back to your world and Sammy comes back here at the same time."

Oberon sighed. "Your brother will be returned."

"He'll be returned immediately, you shady douche bag."

Oberon clenched his jaw. "Fine. Your brother will be returned immediately. Are we agreed now? We waste time bickering over details."

Dean was pretty sure he had covered everything. "Fine, but I get my clothes back now."

"You will get your clothes as soon as I'm with you."

"With me? You are with me. What..." The air rippled around Oberon and before he could finish talking, Oberon vanished into a fog. The fog flowed along the stone table, weaving among the dishes and goblets. "Oh shit." Dean whispered, scrambling back from the stone table like a crab, but he wasn't fast enough. The fog curled around his legs and wound it's way up his torso and arms. It swirled in place for a moment and then just sort of seeped into his skin.

"Damn it! This wasn't part of the deal!" Dean shouted.

_"Sure it was. I said would be with you."_ Dean heard Oberon answer inside his head.

"Not like this, you son of bitch."

_"I'm sorry if you didn't understand. That is not my fault. You should have said something."_

Dean rattled off a long list of obscenities in his mind to which Oberon answered, _"If you're speaking to me in your mind, it won't work. I'm not a mind reader."_

"Oh? Just a fucking body thief."

_"Don't upset me, human. I can take control of your body at any time. I'm being polite at the moment and just riding along."_

Dean knew what demons could do when they took over a body. He had to pander to the pointy eared dick or else risk him making him stepping in front of a train or something. "I thought you meant go with me as in side by side. Not in me!" Dean felt like an idiot talking to himself. He looked around the clearing, spotting his clothes in a pile behind the tree he had been tied to, and proceeded to put them back on while Oberon made his excuses.

_"I am not fully in your realm. I can manifest in physical form within the circle but not once you leave it. I am needed by my people or I would fully cross over."_

Dean sighed in resignation. "Whatever. Just tell me about this satyr. I assume you know where to look? How to catch him?" As Dean spoke, he pulled up his underwear and jeans as one and then reached down and yanked out a handful of moss and threw it away in disgust.

_"Well, his name is Twix and he's a prankster and a trouble maker as all satyrs are."_

"Great. Another Gabriel."

_"What?"_

"Never mind. So he's a satyr. This mean he's half goat or something? Hey don't they have like a twenty-four hour boner or something? I can't even imagine..."

Dean could hear Oberon sigh. If he was going to ride along in his head, it didn't mean he had to make it a pleasant trip for him. _"No. Well...yes."_ he finally answered.

"Well which is it?"

_"Satyrs have taken many forms. Half goat. Part equine. None of that matters though. He can make himself appear human if he likes."_

The robed servants led him out of the woods and kept walking down the street. He followed them, assuming they were leading him back to his car. "Wonderful. It would have been easier to find him if he were prancing around half goat. People tend to notice things like that."

_"Mmm."_

"And the other?" Dean asked.

_"Other what?"_

"The boner?" Dean could almost feel Oberon rolling his eyes. "I mean you can't deny most ancient art depicts them with hard ons."

_"Truthfully, I'm surprised you would know ancient art if it slapped you in the face. But no. That came about as a way to represent their almost insatiable appetite for sex. Man, woman, animal. They are lovers."_

"Animal? Do I need to be searching in petting zoos too?" Dean shivered. "That just ain't natural, man."

_"Perhaps it would be better for you to turn that around and think it not natural for them to be having relations with humans." Dean shivered again. "The satyr are very much a part of and in tune with nature."_

They turned a corner and Dean saw his car and the bar up ahead and picked up his pace a little. _"Don't bother. Your brother will not be there. We need to head east."_ Dean ignored him and checked for Sam inside. No sign of him and the bartender didn't remember seeing him leave.

_"I told you-"_

"Shut up!" Dean took a deep breath. "East, you said. And how do you know that?" Dean asked as he made his way over to the car.

_"I can smell him. Can't you? I mean... It's not easy given your pathetic olfactory system, but it's there."_

Dean clenched his jaw. This was going to be a long case. "Listen it's..." He checked his watch. "It's 2 o'clock in the morning. Think I can grab a few hours of sleep?"

_"Sleep? Oh I suppose. This should be interesting."_

"What? You don't sleep?" Dean unlocked the car, surprised his keys were still in the pocket of his jeans, and climbed in.

_"We do, but not as often, I don't think."_

"Well just try to be quiet okay? I'll never get any sleep if you keep yapping in my head all night."

_"My lips are sealed."_

"Hmm." Dean drove back out of town. It was a good fifteen minute drive to the motel and Dean cranked down the window and cranked up the music. He tried desperately to clear his mind, but all he could do was think of Sammy. It creeped him out to think that perv Oberon was eavesdropping in his head and he worried about the so called hospitality that was being shown to his brother.

Even though he had been knocked out by Oberon's minions, he was exhausted by the time he pulled in to the motel. Once inside, he emptied his pockets, kicked off his boots, removed his jacket, and dropped onto the bed. He was out cold before he could think anymore about having Oberon in his head.

Dean woke more rested than he had in ages. It had been the first night without nightmares in a very long time. He stumbled into the shower, humming some Metallica as he washed up. Getting the moss off was more difficult than it should have been and he was getting upset. Keep a clear head, dude, he thought.

_"You are much more well endowed than I gave you credit for. I'm feeling disappointment that you got away from me before. It would have been grand."_

Oberon startled him. He'd almost forgotten about him. "Keep your ethereal hands off my junk, you pervert!"

_"It was a compliment, Dean."_

"I don't care what it was!" Dean quickly pulled on some clothes and packed up his and Sammy's stuff.

_"I will not apologize for complementing your magnificent manhood, nor can I help feeling what you do. I didn't make you touch yourself. I just felt it when you did. I could have made you continue past just the basic cleansing of your body, you know. I think I'm being quite well behaved actually."_

"What do you want? A cookie?" Dean checked out at the office and got into the car. "Okay. Are we going anywhere in particular or what?"

_"Open a window in your vehicle and just head east. I will guide you."_

"Wonderful." Dean mumbled under his breath, put the car in gear, and pulled out.

As they... He? As he drove, he found himself sniffing the air from his window every now and then. He assumed Oberon was trying to scent his missing satyr.

_"Head more North East as you are able."_

"Yes master." Dean answered sarcastically.

_"Oh! I like that."_

"Pft. Don't get used to it. I was being sarcastic."

_"The human propensity for lying captivates me."_

"Oh please! Your ability to omit truths is no different."

_"Hmm. I'll have to think on this."_

"Yeah. You do that."

_"A little more North. The scent grows stronger."_

Dean drove for a few hours, following Oberon's nose. Or, rather, his own. "So what do we do when we find him? You have any tricks for catching him? I assume you want him alive?"

_"I am limited as to what I can do while in your body. If he's using a glamour to hide his true form, as I suspect, then I can force him to show his true self."_

"That should shake things up a bit, but also cause a panic and draw way more attention than we want. You got anything else?" Oberon was quiet for a long time. "Dude? Work with me here."

_"There are other things I can do but I'm not about to share this information with a mere mortal."_

"But you'll jump into my skin and use it without a second thought. I see how it is."

_"Jumping into your skin, as you put it, is no different than using a knife or putting on a pair of shoes. You are merely a tool."_

"Huh. Who's the tool here." Dean quietly said. If Oberon heard, he paid it no attention.

_"Anyway, there are some things I can't do while contained within this meager vessel. We shall have to do this the brutish way. But I do want him alive if you think you can manage not to kill him on sight."_

Dean's stomach began to growl and he noticed that he had been driving all morning and it was nearing 1:30 in the afternoon. "I'm stopping for a bite to eat. Try to keep quiet." Dean pulled into a small diner along the side of the road. The parking lot was pretty full and that was a sign of good grub.

_"I enjoy a fine meal as well but is now really the time? We're getting close."_

"Dude, if I don't eat I won't be at my best when we find your goat, so relax." Dean made his way inside and scanned the joint. It looked like every soccer mom in a twenty mile radius was in the place and more than half turned to look him over as he came in.

_"I remind you we are here for sustenance only."_

"Chill bro." Dean said under his breath and flashed one of his winning smiles. There was a small table along the far left wall and since the sign said seat yourself, he did.

After giving his order to a pretty Megan, Oberon had changed his tune. _"Hmm, I don't see why we can't stay a little longer and enjoy everything this fine establishment has to offer."_

Dean sighed and pulled out his cell phone to cover his one sided conversation. "Look all you want, but whatever you do, Don't Touch! Things work differently here."

_"But you could have any woman in here!"_

Dean glanced around the room and caught several of the women looking his way. Oberon wasn't wrong but he sure as hell wasn't going to bed a woman while the pervert fairy was riding along. "Be that as it may, we have bigger fish to fry. Now stop talking and let me just enjoy my meal in peace, would ya?"

_"But there is so much to see! Look at the bosom on the one by the door!"_

Dean let out an exasperated sigh. It was one thing when he enjoyed a good view but it was something else entirely when Oberon did it. It felt dirty. Dean took a quick look around and spotted a newspaper sitting on a nearby table. He half stood, reached over, and grabbed the paper. Opening it, he held it high, blocking the view of the entire room. As much as he, himself, missed the view, Oberon's ogling was even more annoying.

Soon enough his food came out and, for a few bites at least, Dean forgot about Oberon until, _"What is this called?"_

"Hmm?"

_"This thing you're eating. What is this?"_

"Mmm. One of the best bacon cheese burgers I've had in a long time." He mumbled around a mouthful.

_"I never realized human food was so flavorful! Let me try more."_ Dean chuckled to himself and grabbed a fry from the basket._ "We eat our vegetables raw. These are fantastic!"_

"You're missing out then." Dean had another fry, this time dipping the end in ketchup. "Fries are pretty versatile. I like them with some malt vinegar sometimes. Then you have poutine. Mmm."

_"I need to experience more."_ Oberon sounded a little too excited.

"I know. Food is awesome, but relax. I plan on having a slice of pie when I'm done with this." Dean took another bite of the burger, savoring it.

He could have sworn he heard Oberon grumbling, when he felt a flutter in his mind. It was the only way he could describe the sensation, like a ripple across his brain. He saw his arm raise up and his voice call out, "Excuse me! Serving wench!" He didn't do or say anything. Oberon had taken control.

_"What the hell, you moron! You can't call her that! And let me go! I'm not going any further on this case if you..."_ Dean realized no sound was coming out of his mouth. Oberon couldn't hear him. He had taken control of his body just as he had threatened to do the night before.

Megan came over with a curious look on her face. "Can I help you?"

Dean, or rather Oberon, looked at her name tag. "Megan. Ah yes, the beautiful Megan. I was wondering if I might see the menu again."

Megan blushed a little at the compliment. "Is there something wrong with your burger?"

"What? No. No! The burger is most awesome!" Dean internally rolled his eyes. "I would just like something more."

Megan raised her eyebrows in surprise and got him a menu.

"High metabolism." Oberon said, patting Dean's stomach. He took the menu, opened it and randomly picked something. "The pot roast with... Oh! The homemade apple sauce, if you please."

"Wow! Okay." She reached her hand out for the menu, but he set it on the seat next to him. "Um, one pot roast with sauce coming right up." He winked and her blush deepened as she beat a hasty retreat.

_"What are you doing? If I eat all that, you'll have to roll me out to the car!"_

Oberon/Dean grabbed the burger and took a huge bite. Whether he was ignoring him or couldn't hear him, Dean didn't know. He struggled as best as he could against the hold Oberon had on him. He must have been getting somewhere with it, because his vision and sensations dulled to the point where he could no longer see or feel anything. He was just a conscious mind floating in a sea of black. He was unaware of his body at all. The lack of knowing and control may have been the most terrifying thing he'd experienced in a very long time. Deep breathing didn't help since he couldn't feel or hear the air going in and out.

What would Sam do, he asked himself. The hippie would probably use this time to meditate. Why worry about things we can't control, he'd probably say. Ohm, Dean thought. Ohhhhmmmmm. Dean chuckled to himself picturing Sammy sitting, legs crossed, hands resting on his knees, with a wreath of flowers in his long hair, incense burning nearby. Dean's mind began to wander, thinking about hippie communes and whether hippies took multiple wives. Thoughts of a three way with some flower loving girls floated through his mind. From there, his thoughts turned darker and he began to think of Sam stuck with the fae. During Dean's brief visit, it seemed like one giant orgie. Sam would definitely have problems with that. And what if fae hospitality wasn't an orgie at all? What if Sam was tied up in some dirty, dank dungeon cell that was too small for his giant sasquatch frame?

Dean realized that he felt a tight ball of nerves in his gut as he thought of Sam. Wait! That wasn't nerves! He could actually feel his stomach again and it hurt like hell! His vision was clearing and he found himself standing by his car waving goodbye to a Dodge Caravan as it pulled out of the diner parking lot. "Oberon?" He could barely manage to say it. He needed to purge his system stat. He looked around and saw a clump of bushes back behind the diner. He made a staggering run for it. Dropping to his knees in the weeds, he couldn't stop the sudden upheaval of his insides.

_"That was fun, wasn't it?"_ Oberon asked, clueless to Dean's distress.

"What the hell did... You..." Dean bent over and retched into the bushes again.

_"Well, this is rather unpleasant. Must you keep doing that?"_

"Keep doing...? You...you...! What did you do to me?" Thinking he might be done with his purge, Dean slowly got up and made his way back toward the car.

_"I simply sampled their fare."_ Dean stopped short and grabbed his stomach. He ran for the bushes again, but didn't make it.

"Damn it, what did you eat?" he asked, gasping.

_"After the pot roast, you mean?"_

"You want this satyr alive or not?" Dean barked out.

_"You just don't get good-natured teasing, do you? Fine. After the pot roast, I tried the fried chicken platter, then a fish fry. That was amazing! Then something called a chicken souvlaki wrap, and then the liver and onions."_

Dean groaned. "Son of a bitch! The human body wasn't made to handle that much!"

_"So... I shouldn't mention dessert?"_

Dean threw up once more but not much came up. Thinking he was finally done clearing his system, he got in his car and drove. A few miles down the road he came to a gas station and pulled in. He parked in a spot and headed for the restroom. Grumbling, he washed up as best he could.

_"Oh, come on. You act as if I tried to kill you! It was an adventure in eating!"_

"Shut up! Just... Shut up." Dean splashed some water in his face.

_"Look in your pocket. It wasn't all bad. At least five women gave me numbers on papers in order for you to contact them at a later time!"_

Oberon sounded like his feelings had been hurt. Well good, thought Dean. And he didn't check his pocket. He refused to give Oberon the satisfaction.

Out in the mini mart, Dean bought himself a water to wash his mouth out with and a six pack for when this was all over. Dean dropped the beer in the cooler in the back seat and started the car. "You said he was close?"

_"You seem upset."_ Oberon hedged.

"Let's just stick to the case, okay? The sooner this is over, the sooner it's over." Dean frowned at his own words and shook his head. Whatever, he thought, I ain't wrong.

_"Well that was enlightening. Continue east."_

Dean bit his tongue and drove. About an hour later he was getting annoyed. "I thought you said he was close." He snapped.

_"Very. Turn here."_

Dean slowed down. "Turn where?"

_"Here!"_

Dean hit the brakes. "Are you looking around? Because I am! There's forest to our left and a massive corn field to our right!"

_"He is due South of us. Do not let the lack of roads let our quarry escape us, Dean."_

Oberon said it in that voice that made Dean shiver from the power behind it. Oberon was hiding more strength than he let on.

Dean pulled the car over, out of the middle of the road, and went around to the trunk. He checked his watch. It was getting late so he grabbed a flashlight and jammed it into an inner pocket of his jacket.

_"This is the mother load! Is there anything you don't have in here?"_ Oberon was ogling again.

He pulled his gun out and tucked it into his jeans and grabbed his new knife with the brass knuckles. "We got all the basic necessities for putting down almost anything. If we don't have it, we know where to get it."

_"We want him alive, remember? You can put the gun back."_ Oberon protested.

"I don't go into any hunt without it. You never know what will go down. Now, is there anything you recommend for taking him?" Dean pawed through some items and lifted out some shackles. "I got these cast iron shackles."

_"Put those down! I can't help you if you're carrying those around! Anyway, they'd be liable to kill him!"_

Dean filed that away for another time, if needed, and pulled out some standard handcuffs. "How about these? Nickel plated steel."

_"Hmm... They should work. Really there is no trick to this. You'll probably have to fight him down. Just remember he is one with nature. His skill may be dampened on this side, but he still has some power."_

"Such as?"

_"Over nature! Have you not been paying attention?"_

Dean grumbled under his breath and in his head so Oberon couldn't hear him. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"

_"Yes, we need to take Twix into custody but we need not rush our partnership to a hasty end."_

"No. We do. I want my body back."

_"You are in full control of your body, are you not?"_ Oberon argued.

"For now and I'd like it to stay this way." Dean closed the trunk as quietly as he could and slowly made his way into the rows of corn to his right.

_"You don't need to creep around like this. He knows you're coming."_

"What?" Dean whispered. "How?"

_"I said... 'One with nature'. The corn has ears and has already, I'm sure, alerted him to your presence."_

Dean burst out laughing but when Oberon didn't reply, he stopped. "You're serious?"

_"Completely."_

He didn't know what to say to that so he just shook his head and kept going. The row he walked in led him up over a hill. At the top, the corn stretched downhill for about another quarter mile and ended at some woods and scrub. Dean could see beyond the small woods where more farm fields stretched into the far distance. "Gee, I wonder where he could be?"

_"It's only logical, considering our surroundings, that-"_

"I get it, numb nuts. He's hiding in the woods."

_"Numb nuts? If my nuts are numb, it is surely from all this delayed gratification."_ Oberon complained.

"Whoa, whoa! Stop right there. Not another word. Sorry I said it." Boy am I sorry, he thought. He made his way down the hill and, as he drew close to the edge of the woods, pulled out his knife. He scanned the edge of the woods to his left and right and noticed a small path about ten feet away. Whether made by people or animal, didn't matter, it was his way in. It wasn't too over grown, mostly big trees and scrub grasses. It made him think the farmer mowed between the trees every couple years or so.

A twig snapped to his right and he crouched into a low fighting stance and listened.

_"He's toying with you."_ Oberon said. Just as he said it, a twig snapped up ahead and to the left. _"We need to know what he's up to."_

"I thought you just wanted to bring him home?" Dean whispered.

_"It's practically suicide to break a moratorium on travel between worlds. He must have had, what he thought, was a good reason. I need to find out what that reason is."_

"Son of a bitch." Dean mumbled. "So much for an easy snatch and grab. Listen, once we get him, you can beat it out of him, okay? One thing at a time."

There was a crashing noise in the underbrush in front of him and, before he could react, he was bowled over. "Shit!" Dean jumped up and spun in a circle. "Come out and fight like a man, goat boy!"

_"You do realize what you just said?"_ Dean could almost hear Oberon rolling his eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah. Shut up." Dean scanned the woods around him.

"But I am no mere man! Men are pathetically weak." A voice called out from his right.

Dean didn't wait. He charged through the trees in that direction. He soon came out into a clearing near a pond. The grasses were trampled down here and near the water's edge; a natural watering hole for the local wildlife. To the left of the clearing stood the satyr. "Twix, I presume?"

He was presenting himself as a man. Maybe mid thirties, stocky and barrel chested, a full beard and beady eyes. He gave Dean a cursory glance. "Hmm. Weak... but useful."

Dean didn't like the sound of that and charged him with a shout. Twix swung a beefy fist at him that Dean easily ducked under it. He came up and nailed Twix under the chin with the brass knuckles of his knife, making him stumble back in surprise.

"Ho ho! You mean to give me a fight?" Twix laughed making Dean grind his teeth. "Show me what you've got, little man."

Dean didn't charge him again. Instead, he switched his knife into his left hand and reached back to his back pocket where he had stashed three silver throwing knives when he had been gearing up at the trunk. In one fluid motion, he pulled them out and flung them forward. They spread nicely in the air so that, even though Twix was able to bat one away, the other two found their mark in his gut. Dean followed the knives, coming in quick. The satyr made an upward flicking motion with his hand and the ground trembled around Dean's feet.

Dean stopped short as thick vines sprung up from the ground around his feet, snapping and winding their way around and up his legs. He bent and began cutting at the vines with his knife, but more vines shot up out of the ground and wrapped around his wrists. "Damn it!"

_"It's okay, Dean. We will find out what he wants now. If he had wanted to kill you, the vines would have pierced your chest and not merely incapacitated you."_

Dean grumbled a "Great. Thanks. Good to know."

The vines around his wrists started twisting and moving, allowing him to stand upright. As they moved, they took his wrists and arms with them. When they stopped, he was standing with his hands held down snug against his sides. The vine on his left hand started to squeeze until Dean dropped the knife he was holding.

"What do you want with me?" Dean struggled for only a moment. The vines were tight. He wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh I have many things I could use you for." Dean didn't like the sound of that. "The better question is what are you doing here? What do you want with me?" Twix slowly pulled the knives from his belly as if they were only a mere irritant.

Dean hesitated. "I was hired to find you." he finally answered.

_"Do NOT let him know I'm here!"_ Oberon shouted out.

"Hired by who?"

Dean chuckled. "Who do you think?"

Twix paced back and forth in front of him. "Interesting. What are they paying you, I wonder." He paused and stared hard at Dean. "Maybe the better question is what are they holding over your head to get you to do this?"

"None of your business." Dean barked at him.

"Hehe! I knew it!" He turned away from Dean and over to a bag and a small case that Dean hadn't noticed before. "Well, since I have you, it would be a shame to waste you."

"Wait. What are you doing in our world anyway? Not enough girl goats where you're from?"

"Hmm. Just for that, you're getting the whole treatment."

"What?" Twix came back to him with scissors in his hand and reached up to clip hair from Dean's head. "Uh I think I'll pass on the haircut, thanks." Dean yanked his head away and Twix sighed in exasperation. There was a small rustling noise and a vine wrapped around his neck, holding. Twix started clipping hair from the sides of Dean's head, collecting it in a cloth pouch. "What the hell are you doing? You came all the way to our world, risking life and limb from what I hear, in order to give humans haircuts?"

Twix chuckled under his breath but continued.

_"By the moon! This is a harvest! We must stop him at all costs! Dean, are you familiar with magic at all?"_

"Um."

_"Tap your right foot for yes, left for for no."_

Dean couldn't move his feet, fairy dumbass. He tapped his thigh with the fingers of his right hand instead.

_"Good enough. Magic is a way of life for the Fae, but some is more powerful than your average spell work. The more powerful, and often more deadly, require special ingredients. One of those ingredients is human in nature. Blood, hair, various organs, and the milk of a virile male."_

Dean frowned. Milk of a virile male? You can't milk a dude, he thought. Then it hit him. "Oh. OH!" He blurted out. Twix gave him an odd look but continued.

_"There is a small civil war brewing that I am desperately trying to stop before it gets out of hand. If one side acquires human ingredients for spell work, it could mean disaster. It's part of the reason for the travel ban."_

While Oberon explained all of this, Twix had apparently collected enough hair for his liking and was back at his bag, digging around in it. He came back with a hooked knife.

"Hey now." Dean gave a nervous laugh. "I'm sure we can think of something, here. No need for that." Twix grinned back at him but remained silent in his work. Hooking the curved blade over the collar of his tee, Twix gave it a small tug and cut through, top to bottom. He hung the knife at his waist and reached out and spread Dean's shirt and jacket wide open, baring his chest. Luckily it appeared that the rune carved on his chest had vanished. Dean struggled against the vines even though he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. He hated feeling helpless. The satyr's hand slid along his skin, stopping over his heart.

"Mmm yes." He grinned. "Your heart is strong." He continued to move his hand along his chest and abdomen. It seemed like he was seeing inside him with it. Twix frowned, stopping his hand and holding it in place. "That's no good. You abuse your liver, human. I can't use it."

"Gee, that's too bad." Dean snapped.

He moved his hand back over Dean's heart and closed his eyes.

"Is this some kind of kinky thing? You know I've never really gotten into the whole furry scene."

"I think I can get six good vials." Twix said to himself.

"Vials?"

Twix returned to his bags and came back with a small circular rack that looked like it was made of intertwining twigs. It held six small vials in two tiers of three. He set it on the ground and pointed at Dean's arm. The vine around his right wrist moved out from his side and twisted so that his palm faced up. Using his hooked blade again, Twix sliced through his jacket up to his elbow.

"Aww come on! First my shirt and now my favorite jacket!" Dean was getting frustrated that Oberon wasn't doing anything. "I really wish someone was here to stop you."

"There's no one in your world that can stop me, human." Twix laughed and pulled his jacket sleeve away, baring his elbow, and stabbed what looked like a needle made of wood into his vein.

Oberon sighed. _"We need to see all his crimes. No worries, Dean, I won't let him kill you."_ Well isn't that reassuring, Dean thought with a growl.

Twix stuck a vial on the end of his needle and proceeded to fill six of them with Dean's blood. He returned the rack to his case, came back and removed Dean's belt.

"Umm hey now. You haven't even bought me dinner yet." Dean said nervously and continued to pull at the vines in vain.

Twix grabbed the top of his jeans at the button fly and hooked the curved blade over the edge near the pocket.

"Whoa! Whoa! Okay! This has gone far enough!"

Twix ignored him once again. Holding firmly to the jeans, he yanked the blade down, slicing through his jeans and underwear straight down in front of his thigh to his knee. He then hooked the blade on the other side and did the same thing. Letting go of the fly, the front of Dean's jeans and underwear dropped and hung down around his knees.

"Damn it!" Dean growled. "These were my good jeans, man!" Twix eyed him while twirling the hooked blade in his hand. "I, uh, I don't swing this way, ya know." Twix reached down and grabbed Dean. "Wooo! Ok! What uh, what would the neighbors think? Huh?"

"Would this help?" Twix said and he morphed from a bearded brute to a sexy blond woman, all the while handling his junk.

"No! No it doesn't!" Then speaking more to Oberon, Dean said. "Isn't there something we can do about this?"

_"You don't think we should let him finish? I'm not sure you're in any condition to fight at the moment."_

"You're enjoying this! Aren't you?" Dean said to Oberon.

Twix, the sexy blond, looked up at him. "It isn't wholly unpleasant, but I prefer to be a participant and not just a means to an end."

My God, Dean thought, I'm being milked by a goat. He wondered where in life he had jigged, when he should have jogged, to deserve this.

Oberon finally answered him, _"Fine. I'm taking over. Sit tight."_

Like I have a choice, he thought, and everything went black. He hoped when he came back to himself, he was still in one piece. He didn't like giving control of his body to Oberon, but it's not like he had any other options at that point.

Dean realized Oberon hadn't cut off his hearing this time when he heard Twix gasp out a "How?" There was a shuffling sound followed by what Dean assumed was Twix falling on his ass. "L-Lord Oberon! No! It can't be!"

"You fool! You think you can break the travel ban and get away with it?" It was somewhat surreal to hear Oberon speaking in his own voice. "We are on the brink of civil war! Do you not know how long the previous one lasted? What it did to our world? Our people?! I am trying to resolve the issues without unnecessary bloodshed but it takes time! It will take even longer when fools, such as yourself, bring human blood magic into the fray!"

"But they-"

"Enough!" This was followed by that same moving vine sound, like maybe Twix was getting some of his own medicine.

Then it was over. Just like that. The lights came up, so to speak, and Dean dropped to his hands and knees. He wasn't tired, but physically wiped out. He felt like every ounce of energy had been drained from him. "What happened?"

_"I removed the vines, showed him my face, and captured him."_

"That's it?" Dean looked over at Twix. He was in his true satyr form, curled in a ball, and caged in a web of vines. "Why do I feel so drained?"

_"To do such magic without my physical body, I needed to draw power from you."_

"You handled him in just a couple minutes."

Oberon boasted, _"I was pretty magnificent, wasn't I?"_

"If you could do all that with basically a flick of the wrist, why did you wait so long? Why the hell did you let him do all that to me?!" Dean wished he could punch Oberon in his self righteous fairy face.

_"I told you. We needed proof of his crimes."_ Oberon paused and added, _"Although I suppose once I knew he was harvesting humans for blood magic, I could have stopped him then."_

"Agh! At least it's over now. Get out of me and give Sam back. Now!"

"I knew it!" Twix called from his tiny vine cage.

"You will remain silent!" Oberon bellowed at Twix, commandeering Dean's vocal chords briefly to do so. Dean felt a little more energy drain from his body._ "We are not done yet."_ Oberon said to Dean. _"I can't leave you until we are back in the fairy circle we started in. And we must take him back as well."_

"You gotta be shitting me! I can barely stand and you expect me drag his goat ass a mile back to the car?"

_"I can assist you, if you let me."_

Dean sighed, head hanging, staring at the grass below his face. He looked over at Twix and spotted his belt on the grass nearby. "Ok, but give me a moment." Dean crawled over to his belt. Slowly he got to his feet, his pants hanging at his knees. "Damn it." he grumbled. He yanked the ruined underwear out and tossed them in the weeds. Pulling the sliced jeans up, he started to weave his belt back through the loops. Dean's ragged sleeve from his jacket kept hanging in the way and, in a fit of frustration, he took it and his shirt off and threw them to the ground.

_"The pants can't be salvaged, either. Why not throw them away as well?"_ Oberon sounded almost hopeful.

"Screw you, you fairy bastard." Dean finished and buckled his belt. It did the job, holding his pants up and covering his junk, albeit it was a bit drafty. He looked around for the satyr's bag and case and noticed they were wrapped up with him in his cage. He found his knife and slid it into its sheath. "Alright. Let's go." He grabbed part of the vine cage and dragged it about a foot. "Ugh."

_"I will help, but you may need a nap once we get to the car."_

"Fine. Whatever. Let's just get this done."

Dean felt his body surge with power and he easily dragged the vine cage out of the woods, hefting it over fallen logs and rocks, and out through the corn field. At the car, he decided it would never fit in the trunk, so he worked it into the backseat. Dropping into the front seat, he felt Oberon's power leave him and he passed out.

"Hey buddy!"

Dean woke with a start. There was an old man standing outside his door knocking on the window.

"You okay?" he asked.

Dean rolled down the window. "Sorry, sir. I'd been driving all day and into the night. Thought this was an out of the way place to pull over and catch a few winks." Dean suddenly remembered the satyr in the back seat and turned quickly to see a large gift wrapped box instead. "I, uh, I'm trying to get cross country. My kid brother's getting married and-"

The old man chuckled, cutting him off. "That's all fine, son. Just wanted to make sure ya weren't dead or nothin." He turned and started back toward a large tractor. "Nice car, by the way. I used to have one. Baby blue. She was a beauty." He grinned. "Take care, now."

"You too!" Dean smiled and waved. He checked his watch and for a second wondered why he wasn't wearing a shirt and suddenly remembered all the events of the previous evening. Rolling up the window he asked, "How long have I been out?"

_"Approximately fourteen hours."_

"Wow. You can really take it out of a man."

Oberon chuckled. _"You really have no idea. If you like, I can-"_

"Nope! I think I've been pretty clear on the matter."

_"I'll never stop trying, Dean. Although you may have no idea what you're missing out on, I think I have a good idea of what I'm missing and it pains me."_

"Yeah, yeah. Cry me a river." Dean started up the car and they made their way back to where this all started. Normally Dean would have needed food, but oddly enough, He didn't think he'd need to eat for another week or so. Oberon directed him to where to park along a long stretch of forest and, together, they lugged Twix's heavy ass back to the fairy ring. Dean was surprised to see the two robed figures waiting for their arrival.

"Remember. Sammy comes back immediately! And he better not be harmed in any way."

_"If you would just allow me to show you, you would find that Fae hospitality is something you'll never forget. I'm sure your brother is fine."_

"Oh, I'm sure I'd never forget it. Can we just do this please?"

Dean felt a small surge of power as Oberon once again took use of his voice. "My sons. It is time for our departure." The servants bowed low to the ground as they entered the circle. Dean felt a tingling along his skin and watched as a fog lifted from his arms and chest. It swirled around in the air and then became the large horned beast that Oberon was when he first arrived. The first robed servant started in with the spell and chanting while the second started to carve a rune on his own chest.

"Dean, it has truly been a pleasure and I look forward to when we meet again." He had a sly smile on his beastial face that made Dean mighty uncomfortable.

"I don't look forward to it. Feel free to forget about me."

Oberon looked down to Dean's ripped jeans and smiled. "Unlikely. Good bye, human." He grabbed the cage with Twix and winked out of existence. The robed figures nodded in his direction and followed suit.

Dean waited. "Oberon, you fairy dick! Where's Sam?!" Just then, Sam appeared. Dean's jaw dropped to the ground. His little brother stood with his back to Dean. He was stark naked, his hair was a mess with a few leaves and twigs stuck in it.

"Where'd they go?" Sam turned with a bewildered look on his face. "Dean?"

"Damn, dude! Where are your clothes?" Dean held up a hand, blocking the view he didn't need.

"I could ask you the same."

Dean looked down at himself. "I'm sort of dressed! More than you!" Sam didn't even bother trying to cover himself, ever comfortable in his own skin. "For a second there, I didn't think Oberon was going to uphold his end of the bargain." Dean said in relief.

"Wait. Oberon was here?" Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yeah. He took you as a bargaining chip so he could use my body."

Sam looked at Dean's bare chest, down at his torn jeans, and back again. "You mean..."

"Wait! No!" Dean quickly tried to back pedal. "No! Sam, that's not what I meant!"

"Dean? We're you servicing Oberon, King of the Fairies...again?"

Dean dropped his face into his hands. "Son of a bitch! Not again!" Dean turned to go. "I need a shower."


End file.
